FAMILY PLANNING
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What is Family Planning?
Family planning is a broad term used to describe the responsible effort made to plan ahead a family's future to prepare for and reduce hardships. Love is a key ingredient, but love is not enough when it comes to creating and sustaining the health of a family. Family planning includes birth control to plan ahead the birth of a child, safe and supportive spouse and child interventions to reduce domestic violence, and counceling of wants versus needs to sort through possible problems that may occur in the future.
Communication
Good communication is the key ingredient to a healthy family life. Parents, especially, must know good listening skills, conflict management, and effective communication skills.

Good listening skills include:
Facing the speaker and making eye contact, Giving cues that you are listening, Paying attention to what's said including body language, Giving feedback or questions, Complimenting, Reacting to feelings, Avoiding involving personal biases, Offering suggestions rather than advice.

Aristotle once said, "Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not easy." Family arguements are normal. It is the means in which they are performed which makes them healthy or not. Here are a few rules to follow for "Fair Fighting":
The goal for any fight should be to resolve a conflict rather than to win. If one person feels like a loser, that will create resentment and distance.
Express resentments as soon as you're aware of them rather than allowing them to build to an explosive level.
Be willing to compromise... Stubborness will get you nowhere.
Make communication clear asking for feedback... What's the point of arguing about the wrong subject ?
Resist temptation to ramble into another subject until you have completed the prior.
Stick to the subject... Don't make it a personal vendetta.
Argue one-on-one... Ganging up will force a defensive wall and make your arguement pointlessly redundant and unresolvable.
Important issues need serious talk... Other issues can include humor even during arguements to lighten the mood and make it a more productive interaction.
Never fight after drinking or just before sleeping.
Never ridicule your partner's feelings regardless of the situation... Use, " I feel " rather than, " you are ".
Admit when you are wrong. This will often end an arguement in seconds.
Learn to forgive, forget, and start over despite all else that was said or done. That is a high value of maturity.

Managing conflict, tension, and anger will strenghten yourself and your relations with others. A few tips are:

Share negative emotions only in person or in via phone if necessary.
Use " I understand " only if you actually do.
Take notice when you feel threatened by what someone is saying to you and be prepared to say why.
Practice controling requests to others when you are angry.
Mirror what angry people are saying to you (to yourself).
Be responsible for yourself.
Listen to two sides of a conflict regardless of your feelings.
Practice self-control in high conflict situation with a calm attitude and resolving nature.
Wait 'till you calm down emotionally before openign your mouth and speak with composure.

To become an effective communicator, you must remember timing and location, barriers, interruptions, listening, tone of voice, thought before speaking, body language cues, and eye contact.
Time Management
Managing your time and organizing it around your family results in a much less stressful environment. Follow these three rules:
Don't create impossible solutions - Don't get trapped into doing too much. make time your friend, not your enemy.
Define priorities - Create a weekly calendar, budgeting your time and be flexable. Make a "to do" list and check your progress daily. Write your goals and keep track of commitments.
Avoid distractions and lack of focus - Avoid procrastination, crises, lack of concentration, distractions like T.V., emotional blocks like boredom and frustration, and illness.

In all cases, the first step is to recognize the problem before attempting to resolve it. Make time for what's important and most urgent first so there is no temptation for excuses and remember to include yourself and your family in the list!
Family Involvement
Being actively involved with your family, especially with your children, is an integral part of a good family relationship. Involving yurself with your family, even if just showing up and "being there" for them during important events, creates an atmosphere of closeness. Being physically interactive with your children and attending events with them gives them an essential example of good parenting that they will pass on to they children as well as a feeling of support during their childhood and adolesent years. Please take a moment to look at the " 150 Ways to Show Kids You Care " list.